Jordan's team uses defense to crush Spread Beaters and lead Silent Division, while Bob lays the lumber with offense to bury the the Rangers. Oh, and Vern (1-2 despite three extra picks) loses to the Saddles (2-1 despite being picked to finish last).
Terrel Bernard (43) made Bills history against the Commanders, becoming the third player in team history with two sacks and an interception in the same game (and he did it in the first quarter). WTNE racked up 32 defensive points as a result.
Wow. What a week. From the Dolphins 70-point explosion against hapless Denver to Buffalo's defense putting the Commanders in a vice, whatever you thought about how the JSFL standings would pan out after the draft last month are now tossed out the window.
To summarize: The Invalids (nee Invaiders) are now 1-2 after scoring the fewest points of the week against the team voted least likely to succeed (Blayze's Saddles). The Spread Beaters, confident about a title repeat three weeks ago, are also 1-2 and appear on the verge of a nervous breakdown after getting blown out by WTNE in an early season Silent Division showdown. Meanwhile, those Saddles, predicted to be 0-3 right now, are 2-1 and in second place in the ST division (and now predicted to finish 5th). The Recliners, predicted to finish 7th after the draft, are also 2-1 and second in the Silent Division (and now predicted to finish 6th). The Tirades, who appeared headed for an 0-15 campaign, accidentally won against the Packers, so that dream is over. They're still predicted to finish 9th. And the Gerbils? Well, they are 0-3 and ESPN says they are now headed for the top pick in the 2024 draft. Some things pan out after all.
And things have really panned out for the Band Aids and WTNE. They're both 3-0 and appear ready to run the table through Week 8, when they square off in what could be an epic showdown. They won't even have any players on a bye week to worry about. Circle that weekend on your calendar now.
Jordan lost his stud keeper running back two weeks ago and has not batted an eye since. Who needs Chubb? WTNE is going up against the Invalids this week, which we thought would be some epic showdown when we looked at the schedule a month ago. Now? Meh. Bob's Band Aids are averaging 105 points a game and will get to beat up the Tirades this week en route to 4-0. Who will stop these teams? It's anyone's guess.
WTNE 126, BEATERS 98: Matt Pringle had by all accounts a decent week. And he still lost by almost 30. Thanks, Buffalo defense (32 points). Oh, and QB Justin Herbert had 29. Even Jordan's kicker had 18 -- and would have led everyone on the Beaters' scoring roster had it not been for Tyreek Hill (21).
BAND AIDS 124, RANGERS 112: Just when John Lambert thought he was on his way to victory (his WR corps of Justin Jefferson, Keenan Allen and George Pickens combined for 53 points), he was slapped in the face by Band Aids RBs Raheem Mostert (38) and Kenneth Walker III (26). Take that! John did win the battle of the kickers, though, 15-9.
TIRADES 90, PACKERS 85: Now there is something I didn't think I would type this season: Tirades and a point total over 80-something. But as the Swami predicted Thursday night, just before the 49ers faced the Giants, if Deebo Samuel and Brock Purdy could manage 40 that night, the Tirades had a shot. And they put up 38, and the Eagles defense (12) and kicker Jake Elliott (11) put up just enough on Monday night to hold off Commissioner Jeff's Packers, who needed 20 from Ja'Marr Chase on Monday against the Rams but only got 14.
SADDLES 87, INVAIDERS 73: How the mighty have fallen, but no one expected this. Vern got 29 from Lamar Jackson but the rest of his team went on a diving trip to Cozumel -- especially his defense (Cowboys, -2). Oh, and those Dolphins who put up 70 points on Sunday? Vern had their QB on the bench (35 points). Vern even played the wrong kicker, going with Cameron "I got those XPs for you, pal" Dicker of the Chargers (4) instead of Evan McPherson of the Bengals (19). Blayze, on the other hand, only needed his WRs. He got 29 from Davante "I don't give a shit who the QB is" Adams and 18 more in the farewell performance from Mike Williams, who was lost for the season with a knee injury. OK, so there was some bad news for Blayze, too.
RECLINERS 81, GERBILS 76: We expected more from Chuck Nelson's team than an 0-3 start, but we did not get it. If not for his Flex starter, RB James Conner (16), his ground game would have resulted in 7 points: 6 from Najee Harris and one (1!) from Joshua Kelley. Jared Goff led the Gerbs with 17. Meanwhile, Chris Zimnoch rode Zach Moss (20) and got just enough out of Trevor Lawrence (14) to pull out the win and improve to 2-1, a game back of the division leading WTNE. And if you're wondering how the hell the Recliners are 2-1 when they have scored the second-fewest points (218) of any team in the league -- congrats, Chuck, you won that contest with 213 -- so are we, but they have played the Tirades and the Gerbils, so that explains everything.
Comments