Two-time defending champion Matt Pringle gets the Matt Huey Memorial Trophy from commissioner Jeff Lambert before the draft.
By Scoop Ahrendes
Staff Prognosticator
Thanks, Jeff Lambert, for taking time Monday to log in and post the draft results from our annual gathering in Del Mar. Tirades owner Ron Hender and I usually do it, but we were otherwise detailed – Ron was downstairs sleeping off those five tequila shots he pounded in the final rounds of the draft and I was in a sleep-deprived coma. So sue us. A couple of things clearly jump out when reviewing who had the best draft, and who puked all over themselves.
The highest Draft-Day grades were handed out to the Tirades – yeah, them – followed by Chris Zimnoch’s Hermosa Recliners, John Lambert’s Chandler Rangers, brother Jeff’s Del Mar Packers and my Invaiders.
It was one of two Draft-Day analytical assessments ESPN gave us, based on ESPN’s draft analysis. The number crunchers project the Tirades, Rangers, Recliners and Invaiders as the four teams with the best analytical chances to make the playoffs.
The bottom dwellers, as of this writing, are the rookie, Matt McCumber’s Who Dey, and, gulp, the Band Aids. That is a stunning development in a lot of ways. Bob and Pringle usually dominate Draft Day, and Ron is usually the one who grabs a cheatsheet at the Quik-and-Go while getting a Big Gulp and has a miserable start to the season.
This time, Ron came prepared. And, despite wasting an early draft pick on Nick Chubb (put on the Physically Unable to Perform list on Monday afternoon as this is being written, with no clear timetable for when, or, more challenging, if he plays at all this season), he still finished the day surprisingly well and could be a force to deal with in the Shit Talkers Division.
On the other side of the draw in the Silent Division, the source of the last five consecutive champions and five of the last seven, the Hermosa Recliners quietly came away from Draft Day with a surprising result. Add to that the fact that the Rangers had theirs and almost everyone else’s second-round pick, and you can get a sense that the Recliners and Rangers are going to be a constant pain in my backside all year.
A bad grade on Draft Day is never a clear indicator of future performance. It is just a starting point. I would take a wild guess that Pringle will be busy working the waiver wire early in the season and will likely still be in the mix for a playoff spot. Or, he might be the first to have a housecleaning sale to load up for the 2025 season.
The last takeaway is that the teams that made moves in advance of the draft, to load up on picks, generally did better than those who didn’t. No rocket science needed there.
Silent Division
Since the Silent Division is where champions are born, we start there with the team-by-team analysis. If you don’t like me starting there, then you just nominated yourself to write the weekly recap for the rest of your life.
Chandler Rangers: Let's just get this out of the way at the outset — John Lambert is the only active owner with more than a season under his belt that has not won a championship. And this just might be the year John wins it all. After some near misses a few years back, John decided to dive headfirst into the trade pool and loaded up on a bundle of second-round picks. It appears he may have hit paydirt on every one of those highly coveted prizes. The team starts and ends with keeper Breece Hall. If he has half of the year experts project, we can start engraving John’s name on the trophy before season’s end. He then parlayed those three second-round picks into Rams RB Kyren Williams and WRs Mike Evans and Davante Adams.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – A
ESPN Season Projection – 2nd
Best Draft-Day Move – Landing three second-round picks.
First Player Likely to be Dropped – It might end up being the often-hurt Rams’ RB Kyren Williams. The Rams burned a key draft pick on Blake Corum and one misstep by Kyren could be the end of his season or a trade to a bottom feeder.
Santa Monica Spread Beaters: When Matt Pringle starts every recap of his draft with things like, “If So-and-So comes through” or, “If ….” That it makes my heart go pitter-pat. The analysis of this team can go out the window at 10 a.m. next Tuesday because a good three or four of these guys might be sent packing before the first game kicks off Thursday night. He and Ron have the fastest fingers on the planet when it came to the Tuesday-morning scramble for new-found studs, a superpower that will be negated this season by the waiver-wire priority system that rolls out this season. Despite the new rule, expect Matt to be busy on the waiver wire. He is not a three-time champ because of his boyish charm and rugged good looks. This is a stone-cold killer when it comes to fantasy sports. In Matt’s own words, the players he is worried about are Tony Pollard, J.K. Dobbins and Chris Godwin.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – C
ESPN Season Projection – 8th
Best Draft-Day Move – Having Derrick Henry fall to him at the end of the first round.
First Player Likely to be Dropped – One of those aforementioned RBs, with Pollard being the most likely candidate if he is indeed stuck in a 50/50 timeshare with Tyjae Spears
Hermosa Recliners: The sneaky good draft by Chris might come back to bite all of us in the butt. He was so silent and stealthy that we did not notice he was compiling one hell of a team that could still be fighting come the start of the playoffs. Damn him. Coming into the draft, I was perplexed why he had not made a move as the best players he was sitting on from a dismal 2023 season were RB Tony Pollard, who got booted out of Dallas and shipped off to the Titans, Texans QB CJ Stroud and ageless TE Travis Kelce. When he wrestled Atlanta star RB Bijan Robinson from Bob Garcia as his keeper for a Snickers bar and a pat on the head (and a 6th round pick), I was dumbfounded. He then got to work grabbing WR Garrett Wilson with his first pick, rookie WR Marvin Harrison Jr. in the second round and RB Joe Mixon in the third. He kept the party going by landing TE Sam LaPorta in the fourth, re-signed Stroud in the sixth and grabbed WR DeVonta Smith in the seventh. For depth, he added RB Javonte Williams in the eighth and the Jets defense in the ninth. Six of those guys were on my target list to grab.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – A
ESPN Season Projection – 3rd
Best Draft-Day Move – Dealing for keeper Bijan Robinson
First Player Likely to be Dropped – WR Marquise “Hollywood” Brown
Sequim Invaiders: OK, I have to put on my “completely unbiased” hat here, but hot-damn what a great freaking draft I had. Other than the regret of seeing a lot of the guys I had targeted land in my division in Reclinerware, I was stunned that RB Jonathan Taylor dropped to me with the sixth pick, that rookie WR Malik Naybors was still there in the third, TE Mark Andrews in the fourth and Najee Harris in the fifth. EDITORS NOTE: His draft wasn't that great.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – B
ESPN Season Projection – 4th
Best Draft-Day Move – Loading up on three 8th-round picks that turned out to be rookie RBs Rico Dowdle and Jonathan Brooks and WR Christian Kirk
First Player Likely to be Dropped – One of those 8th-round picks, RB Jonathan Brooks
WTNE: OK, former rookie Jordan Garcia, until you come up with a legit team name, we are not going to take anything you did on Draft Day seriously. Come on, Jordan, is it really that hard? Are you telling me you could not come up with a name during two 5 and a half hour drives between Del Mar and Chandler? The former rookie got his first taste of having to draft from a place other than first each round, and he will get a sobering taste of life without Christian McCaffrey. Saquon Barkley is no McCaffrey. It is hard enough to assess LWCM (since Jordan likes acronyms that translates to Life Without Christian McCaffrey) but his keeper and two of his first three picks were guys on several “Do Not Draft” lists from a bunch of industry analysts – Barkley, Rachaad White and Alvin Kamara. Rams WR Puka Nakua could be a steal for him where he got him. Let’s hope those industry analysts don’t know their head from their hat size. If not, it could be a long, long year for LWCM.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – C
ESPN Season Projection – 7th
Best Draft-Day Move(s) – WRs Puka Nakua and Tank Dell
First Player Likely to be Dropped – Tyjae Spears if he truly is in a 50/50 timeshare with Tony Pollard in the Tennessee backfield
Shit Talkers Division
Westchester Gerbils: We have documentary evidence of Gerbils owner Chuck Nelson soundly snoozing after the draft and horse racing at Del Mar (with host Jeff Lambert loudly yelling at Chuck, “Be quiet!”) None of those yells stirred Chuck. Maybe he started snoozing earlier in the day as the draft unfolded because he had some stunning picks, or as Dr. Phil would say, “What were you thinking?” We were pleasantly disappointed he took RB Jahmyr Gibbs with his first pick and WR Drake London in the fourth. And, he can cover a lot of warts with QB Patrick Mahomes. But, taking Josh Jacobs in the third was a real head-scratcher, TE Brock Bowers in the 9th and WR Jordan Addison in the 11th. He could have waited another round to pull those levers and ESPN hammered him for those over-reaches.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – C
ESPN Season Projection – 5th
Best Draft-Day Move – Trading to get keeper WR A.J. Brown
First Player Likely to be Dropped – WR Jordan Addison
Band Aids: Could a clone of Bob Garcia been in our midst on Saturday? Who was that guy who puked all over his draft sheet? It is not the draft machine we have come to loathe and despise. I have no beef with protecting "Sun God" Amon-ra St. Brown or the drafting of RB Isiah Pacheco out of the 9th hole of the first round. I think the draft got a little wonky for Bob in the third when he passed on WR Cooper Kupp and reached a round or two early for James Conner of Arizona. ESPN really dinged him for the back-to-back picks (too early) of WRs Terry “No Scorin” McLaurin, Khalil Shakir, Jaxon Smith-Njigba and RBs Chubba Hubbard and Ezekiel Elliott.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – D
ESPN Season Projection – 10th
Best Draft-Day Move – Getting something for waiving the potential No. 1 RB in the land, Bijan Robinson. We hope that Snickers bar was tasty, Bob. We know the draft pick wasn't.
First Player Likely to be Dropped – RB Ezekiel Elliott
Marietta Tirades: We like the “old” Ron better. You come to expect certain trends. Patrick Mahomes will gut the 49ers when it truly counts on the final drive of a Super Bowl. Chicago Bears fans will dress like Mike Ditka and Ron will suck on Draft Day. Well, that “guy” did not show up in Del Mar this season. This guy came prepared to wheel and deal and make some pretty smart draft picks. Landing the No. 1 player in the land with a Draft Day trade and having the first pick each round should help an awful lot. And, ESPN simply loved his Draft Day performance. If you look across his lineup, he has the top projected performers at three positions – McCaffrey at RB, Josh Allen at QB and the Cleveland Browns defense. With McCaffrey safely in the fold, Ron wasted no time padding stats with WR Deebo Samuel and Allen with his first two picks. The only head-scratcher was RB Nick Chubb with the first pick of the third. There is a real possibility he may not play all season and he was going in mock drafts at ESPN in the 11th or 12th rounds.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – A
ESPN Season Projection – 1st
Best Draft-Day Move – Getting Christian McCaffrey from Jordan for Saquon Barkley and a bag of Cheetos (and the first pick of the draft, which was WR Puka Nacua)
First Player Likely to be Dropped – PUP List designee Nick Chubb
Del Mar Packers: ESPN liked Jeff’s Draft Day performance much better than the longer-term outlook for the players he picked. With a B on his report card, ESPN does not think the Packers will have enough juice to make the playoffs. The Pack is back with keeper Ja’Marr Chase (safely back in camp practicing with the Bengals), and a string of three RBs with his first three picks – Travis Etienne, De’Von Achane of Miami and Kenneth Walker III of Seattle. One of those three could be trade bait before November. Several gasps erupted when Jeff grabbed heavily targeted Anthony Richardson in the fifth and ripped John’s heart out with WR George Pickens in the 6th. Depth could be the Achilles heel for the Pack and is the likely reason ESPN does not like his chances this season.
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – B
ESPN Season Projection – 6th
Best Draft-Day Move – Betting money on Raging Torrent in the 9th race at Del Mar
First Player Likely to be Dropped – WR Xavier Worthy
Who Dey: Being the rookie in a long-established league is a tough hurdle to overcome. And, ESPN turned its nose up on Matt’s first stab on Draft Day. And taking over the dumpster fire that was the Blazing Saddles is just one more huge hurdle Matty from the Natti had to clear. Keeper Justin Jefferson should be a steady producer along with his first pick, WR Chris Olave. He added plenty of WR depth later with Diontae Johnson and Keenan Allen, so he should be solid with a flex player or trade bait moving forward. The train started leaving the tracks when Matty jumped on RB Raheem Mostert (at least four rounds too early, according to mock draft data at ESPN). D’Andre Swift further complicated matters (at least one round early) as did Zack Moss. Back-to-back picks of kickers in the 12th and 13th rounds were another sign of a rookie (the last pick is when you take that last kicker).
ESPN Draft-Day Grade – D
ESPN Season Projection – 9th
Best Draft-Day Move – Drafting Chris Olave with his first pick
First Player Likely to be Dropped – Bengal TE Mike Gesicki
Photo courtesy Jeff Lambert, Esquire
Pending Free Agents for 2025
There were only two players that were protected for the second year on Saturday morning:
The Packers protected WR Ja'Marr Chase;
The Band Aids protected WR Amon-Ra St. Brown.
Those two players must be traded by this year's deadline (Nov. 29) or they will become Free Agents, as was the case with Jonathan Taylor and Derrick Henry this year.
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