The landscape of the JSFL was dramatically altered this week as monster deals went down in the closing hours of the Black Friday trade bonanza, and three teams sitting atop league standings went on a spending spree.
You know the JSFL Today staff will never miss an opportunity to feature a 49ers player such as Deebo Samuel, showing his love after being traded to the Packers.
Big winners appear to be the Band Aids, Blazing Saddles and Packers as all three bitter rivals in the Shit Talkers Division went “all-in” in an effort to win the 2023 title. Dogs sleeping with cats. Rangers playing for Saddles. It’s mass hysteria, I tell you. Utter mayhem.
The other two “contenders” still in the mix – the Spread Beaters and Invaiders – stayed pat at the deadline and were mercilessly mocked for it. Invaider GM Vern Ahrendes was heard doing a very bad Dana Carvey impersonation of George Herbert Walker Bush when he was overheard saying to reporters, “Stay the course. A thousand points of light.”
The only other obvious missing team in the trading frenzy were the Recliners as they are out of contention and now face the daunting task of trying to compete next year against a bevy of teams loaded with extra early picks in August. Thank God I don’t have to prep that draft board. And the Shit Talkers Division appears to be a meat grinder, as it should be, heading into the playoffs this year and starting out the 2024 season. I’ll crawl back into my hole, be silent in the “other” division, and play with myself.
A True Trademaggeddon
Matt may have summed it best in the long string of emails after Ron’s Week 12 review. Blayze won the trade deadline by essentially turning Calvin Ridley and a second-round pick next year into free-agent prize WR Justin Jefferson and a first-round pick next season. And with Jonathan Taylor – the other free-agent prize leading up to the trade deadline – potentially being sidelined for the rest of the year with a thumb injury, it appears Blayze will end up eating him and releasing him to free agency at the end of the season. Come August, Taylor might end up being one of the first players taken.
Pringle also helped by summarizing that the 2024 Draft now has the Blazing Saddles with an extra first-round pick in their back pocket, but no second. The Rangers have two extra second-round picks; the Band Aids lost a second-round pick; and WTNE goes into the draft likely with Christian McCaffrey but no first-round pick. There is another potpourri of fourth-, sixth-, seventh- and eighth-round picks held by several teams…. Too many to get in to now because, we, here at JSFL Today, just don’t care and don’t want to make the effort. That will be Jeff’s mess to sort out.
And, we are still not done yet. The clock continues to click down to the midnight deadline. As I am writing this, we still have about 10 hours to get a deal done. Stay tuned.
What we will dive into here at JSFL Today are the ramifications of all of these free-agent moves and what impact they will have heading into the final three weeks of the season and beyond. Jefferson, the prize of the litter, still won’t take the field for Blayze until next week at the earliest as the Minnesota Vikings are one of six teams on a bye this week. WTNE in Week 14 and the Invaiders in Week 15 get the first taste of the “new and improved” Saddles if Jefferson is ready to roll.
Two Big Games on Tap This Week
The stakes (and the impact of the trades) could not be bigger as two monumental smackdowns are on tap this week in the JSFL. And, all three of those at the trading deadline poker table are involved. The Blazing Saddles (8-4) travel to Del Mar to take on the Packers (7-5). And the Spread Beaters (also 7-5) travel to San Clemente to take on the Band Aids (10-2). The Spread Beaters are in a three-way tie for the fourth and final playoff spot with the Packers and Invaiders.
As this is a “points” league, the team record is the primary determination of who the Final Four are, but the tiebreaker – for those new to the league (that means you, Jordan) – is total points scored. The Spread Beaters currently lead the league in scoring with 1,216 points. His record would be a lot better if he got to play the Tirades and Gerbils twice this season, but he didn’t. The team holding the next tiebreaker is the Band Aids at 1,202 points. The Packers stand in third with 1,185 points, followed by WTNE at 1,159 points, the Invaiders with 1,121 points, and the Saddles at 1,097 points.
Six Teams Wind Down Final Bye Weeks
Six teams – with stud players at the top of the scoring leaders scoreboard – get us one week closer to the end of the bye schedule. This week, the Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Las Vegas Raiders, Minnesota Vikings and New York Giants will not be suiting up. That only leaves two teams to complete the bye – the Washington Commanders and Arizona Cardinals – but hardly anyone has a Commander or Cardinal as a lineup lock.
We have one early game this week with the Thursday Night battle between the Seattle Seahawks (wearing the same glow-in-the-dark, puke green throwback uniforms) and Dallas Cowboys unfolding in Big D.
Game of the Week
Blazing Saddles vs. Packers, Saddles favored by 6: The two busiest “buyers” at the deadline face each other this week. A whole new Saddles lineup rolls out this week with traded-for DeVonta Smith and free-agent grab Zack Moss (Jonathan Taylor’s likely replacement … quick fact: Moss is still in the Top 10 in scoring for RBs while only playing a few games). Two new “Packers” suit up this week for Jeff – WR Deebo Samuel and TE Sam LaPorta (both snagged from the Tirades for a fourth). The obvious missing traded-for player is Cooper Kupp. At this point, Jeff still prefers Mike Evans at WR2 and Ja’Marr Chase at flex. The bye is crushing the Packers going into this one, as Jeff has roll out Baker Mayfield at QB for the Mai Tai-sipping Josh Allen. Blayze loses Davante Adams and Dalton Kincaid but still has enough scoring edges at QB (Dak Prescott at home tonight against the Seahawks), Zack Moss, Joe Mixon, the Jets defense and the Miami kicker. The Packers have an edge with Travis Etienne Jr., Mike Evans, Deebo Samuel and Sam LaPorta. This game is more critical for the Saddles as they lose the tiebreaker to the Packers, WTNE and the Invaiders if they end the regular season in a tie for fourth. We like Blayze’s lineup at this point and hate to bet against the Pack, but the Swami was burned last week and does not like that. Take the Saddles and 1.
Best of the Rest
Spread Beaters vs. Band Aids, Beaters favored by 5: Again, you would think the top team in the league would continue to get some love by ESPN but they don’t care what Bob did at the deadline and likes the on-the-field matchups the Beaters have this week. In particular, ESPN wants no part of Philadelphia having to deal with the San Francisco 49ers defense.
The revamped Band Aids send out two new players this week – Jalen Hurts and George Kittle – to go alongside the previously traded-for Brandon Aiyuk. ESPN still likes Hurts at home against the 49ers over Tua at Washington. And, Kittle gets the scoring edge at tight end. The remaining positional edges lean the Beaters’ way with Kyren Williams (Bob, how could you let a Ram get away?) at RB, WRs Tyreek Hill and A.J. Brown (with Bob’s QB feeding him) and flex (Isiah Pacheco at Green Bay over Aiyuk). These two teams could play 10 straight weeks and Bob likely might win 6 of those 10, but this week it looks like Matt has the upper hand. Take the Beaters and 1.
Invaiders vs. Rangers, Invaiders favored by 12: If Patrick Mahomes goes crazy in Green Bay, this one might be a lot more interesting but the gutted Rangers only have advantages at QB and RB with Breece Hall against Atlanta. The rest of the positional advantages fall the Invaiders’ way. Of course, the Invaiders had big scoring advantages last week but no RB fell into the end zone and they lost. We think it's a bounce-back week. Take the Invaiders and 5.
Toilet Bowl
Tirades vs. Gerbils, Gerbils favored by 10: The two biggest “sellers” at the deadline were these two teams. The now-gutted Tirades have already started marketing efforts for 2024. The catchy title is, “Wait ‘til Next Year!” The website features photos of rehabbing Nick Chubb doing pullups, and the team calendar does not start until August 24 – the date of the JSFL Draft. And looking over these two starting rosters is a who’s who of “Who the heck are they?” candidates. And the biggest thing at stake in this one is who will be the worst of the league and hold that lottery ticket for the first pick next season. The Gerbils hold a one-game lead (1-11) over the Tirades (2-10), but the Tirades have the lowest scoring total in the league by 19 points, so they win that tiebreaker. The over/under on this total game score might be 100 points. Take the Gerbils to blow that lottery lead and 5 points.
Dog of the Week
Recliners vs. WTNE, WTNE favored by 12: Chris may have ruined any shot at the number one pick next year with last week’s stunning upset of the resurgent Gerbils. With four wins on the season, Chris’ team might be the one no one wants to face these days, and Jordan you get the prize this week. On paper, WTNE holds scoring advantages at nearly every position. But, Chris faced those same odds last week and threw pie in Chuck’s face. Tonight’s game will see if Chris gets off to a hot start or not at RB Tony Pollard and WR DK Metcalf take the field. We still think WTNE has too many weapons for Chris to deal with. Take WTNE and 5.
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