Backups lead the way in Week 8; Pillows, fresh off consecutive wins, see their season go up in flames as Derrick Henry suffers injury
Cooper Rush (yeah, we also said "who?") scored 18 for the Beaters in a win over the Tirades.
Four more NFL teams are on bye in Week 9 (well, maybe only two). Seattle and Tampa Bay are both off (as are Detroit and Washington, but do they matter if no one has a player from those teams?), and the most valuable player in fantasy this season just suffered a crushing injury.
So, if you thought it was bad last week, this coming week just might be worse.
There was a glaring lack of scoring in Week 8 so if you got a win, good for you. It could have been a guaranteed loss on any other week. On average, scoring was off by more than 10 points from previous weeks. Three teams – the Spread Beaters, Band Aids and Gerbils – all got wins and did not top 80 points.
And, if there wasn’t any doubt before this week, the defending champion Pillow Biters might be the first to throw in the towel on the 2021 season and start stockpiling draft picks for 2022 as workhorse back Derrick Henry went down, maybe for the rest of the season, in a loss to Bob Garcia. The latest loss ends a two-game winning streak for the defending champs, who are now 2-6 on the year.
Others grabbing wins last week were the Gerbils, the Band Aids, Packers, Invaiders and Spread Beaters. Notice a trend there? The Shit Talkers, for the most part, got the best of the Silent Division, again, winning two of the three scheduled interdivision battles. Only the Spread Beaters, with a 72-62 win over the Tirades, bucked that trend.
The Shit Talker Division, with those wins by the Gerbs, Band Aids and Packers, tightened up significantly in the last week. The Blazing Saddles, at 5-3, still sit atop the division, one game ahead of a three-way logjam for second between the Tirades, Packers and Band Aids. The Gerbils, gasp, still lurk just two games back.
The Invaiders, now at 7-1, and Spread Beaters, at 6-2, further extended their hammerlock on the Silent Division. No other Silent Division team is above .500. The Recliners fell to 3-5, and the Rangers and Pillow Biters are both mired in the basement at 2-6.
Looking ahead to Week 9, the new halfway point of the 15-game schedule, will feature three more interdivision battles as the Invaiders take on the rival Tirades, the Band Aids take on Matt’s Spread Beaters and the Gerbils (with Christian McCaffrey, again, possible to return) look to win their third straight vs. the Derrick Henryless Pillow Biters.
The rest of the schedule includes the Packers taking on the Blazing Saddles in the Shit Talkers division, and the Recliners looking to get back on the winning path against the Rangers.
Spread Beaters 72, Tirades 62: Another odd trend in Week 8 was the surprising performance of replacement QBs. In Dallas, Cooper Rush came out of nowhere (actually, he came from the quarterback U known as Central Michigan) to score 18 points in subbing for the still-injured Dak Prescott, who might be back behind center in Week 9. “Cooper Squared” – the passing combo between Rush and WR Amari Cooper – was dynamic Sunday night and was strong enough to sway two JSFL games (see the Gerbils’ win). Damien Harris rumbled for 14 points and Stephon Diggs found the end zone to add 10 more. The Tirades struggled to find any scoring for the second week in a row. Adam Thielen scored 13 and was the only player in double figures going into the Monday night game. On Monday evening, Patrick Mahomes found a tiny bit of his mojo -- he led his NFL team to a win, threw for 275 yards and one TD -- but his team-high 14 points were again a far cry of what was expected of him. The Tirades needed more like 3 TDs and 25 points from him to pull this one out.
Band Aids 78, Pillow Biters 66: This one was just brutal to see unfold. Nevermind it was the third game on the slate to have a team win and only score 70-some points, but the season may be over for Huey’s fantasy stud Derrick Henry, who was injured early in the Titans’ win over the Colts. Garcia moved into a tie for second behind a stellar 15-point effort Thursday from Aaron Rodgers. Tyler Lockett made a rare appearance in the scorebooks hauling in 142 yards from backup QB Gene Smith (14 points) and James Conner scored twice but added only 14 points on a whopping 22 rushing yards. Huey got an outstanding performance from WR A.J. Brown, who hauled in a TD on a 131-yard effort. The next backup QB to perform well Sunday was Trevor Semien coming off of the bench to sub for starter Jameis Winston, who was forced out of the game and maybe for the season, on an ugly tackle. Taysom Hill maybe activated in Week 9 for some future scoring help. Behind Derrick Henry, Huey does not have much to lean on. His other starting RB D’Andre Swift was awful (3 points) for Detroit. Mike Davis’ use may come to an end as McCaffrey returns. The one promising stat line was the 22 points Jets’ RB Michael Carter posted on the bench in the upset of the Bengals.
Gerbils 76, Blazing Saddles 68: The four-game win streak for the Saddles crashed to earth as the Gerbils rode some surprising performances to pull off this upset and win their second straight. A 20-point effort by Ryan Tannehill, who was forced to throw after Henry’s injury, paced this victory. The aforementioned Amari Cooper blew up for 122 yards and a TD en route to 18 points (including a circus, game-changing catch in the final minutes of the Sunday night game). And the Seattle defense picked on the lowly Jags for a TD and 13 points. The Saddles, in a common thread, had a hard time finding points last week. Jonathan Taylor led the scoring with 18 points. Keenan Allen added 13 and Jalen Hurts 11.
Packers 99, Recliners 84: The Packers clawed their way into the three-way tie for second behind a 28-point effort by Josh Allen (including 1 rushing TD), 20 points from Chris Godwin and 17 from Deebo Samuel. Matt Stafford led the Recliners with 24 points, Joe Mixon added 20 and Nick Folk 15.
Invaiders 87, Rangers 70: Any Invaider team of the past 20 seasons that got 8 points from a QB and had a WR blanked would have lost. Period. That didn’t happen this week. Eli Mitchell topped 100 yards rushing for the second straight week and scored to lead the team with 19 points. Austin Ekeler scored a TD and 18 and Cooper Kupp scored and added 17 points. Kyler Murray was limited to just 8 and Falcon WR Calvin Ridley decided to stop playing for a while. Dumbass Vern heard the news Sunday morning and thought he had subbed in Courtland Sutton but apparently forgot to hit “Save” on the lineup change. He figured the mistake would cost him. The Rangers, again continuing the theme this week, struggled to score. Melvin Gordon III led the team with 16. Tyreek Hill added 15 points, Chubba Hubbard 13, and the Chargers’ QB Justin Herbert scored 12.
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