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'Twas the night before all hell broke loose

So, the four highest-scoring teams have advanced to the money round. How soon can we put a fork in Bob and end our misery? Jeff, we are counting on you this weekend.


Kyren Williams had 21 of the Beaters 47 points last weekend and hopes to quiet the home crowd and lead the defending champs to a semifinal victory over WTNE.

 

‘Twas the night before all hell broke loose, and not a creature was stirring because Bob had shot them all. With the money round before us, there are only two games to worry about this holiday weekend. Who will be the Grinch, and who will have holly jabbed into their hearts?


All we know is one team from each division will advance to the Super Bowl next week. And only one of the teams that went all-in at the trade deadline will make the Big Dance because they play each other this week in the semifinals.


The top-seeded Band Aids (12-3 this season) will take on division rival and Commissioner Jeff and his 9-6 Packers. In the other half of the bracket, rookie Jordan will enter as the Silent Division champ at 10-5 and will take on the highest-scoring team in the league, the 9-6 Spread Beaters.


There are three other games on the docket but they don’t matter and I don’t plan to spend any time on them. They have no meaning and will not impact the draft order next August.


Draft Order

The 2-win Tirades will get the first pick (unless someone drops out) followed by the 3-win Gerbils, the Recliners, the Rangers, the Saddles and the Invaiders. The final four picks will be determined by how the next two weeks play out. If there is a tiebreaker needed, the Band Aids get the nod with “only” 1,478 points followed by WTNE (1,482), the Packers (1,495 points) and the Beaters (1,507).

 

Holiday Schedule

The playoffs kick off with a Thursday night game featuring the Saints visiting the Los Angeles Rams, and plenty of money-round players will be on the field in this one. Two more games are scheduled Saturday as the Bengals visit the Steelers and the Buffalo Bills are expected to pound the Los Angeles Chargers in the evening game.

 

The Semifinals

Packers at the Band Aids, ESPN has it as a toss up: These two teams played twice in 2023 and they split, with the Packers winning in Week 5 and the Band Aids winning in Week 12.  And the benches will decide this one, as several players who did not play in those first two meetings will be asked to carry the freight when it counts. The Packers, as of this writing, have benched the injured WR Ja’Marr Chase and RB Javonte Williams (going against New England) for Mike Evans and Chuba Hubbard. The traded-for chips Cooper Kupp, Deebo Samuel and Sam LaPorta will be asked to carry the freight in this one. Kupp takes the field tonight against the Saints to get the scoring started. If Travis Etienne Jr. has another dud like he had last week, this one could go Bob’s way. The Band Aids get a scoring advantage with Raheem “Must Score” Mostert at home against Dallas, George Kittle at tight end and flex (WR Rashee Rice). The Packers are favored at QB with Josh Allen expected to light up the Chargers’ defense, Evans at home against Jacksonville and WR Deebo Samuel at home against Baltimore. And, as of this writing, Bob has benched his first pick, Bijan Robinson, for Seattle’s Kenneth Walker III against Tennessee. We are still seething about the Packer loss last week (you suck, Jeff!, not that it mattered as Jordan outscored me by a bunch). The betting line keeps moving on this one, but we just can’t bring ourselves to pick the Band Aids, unless they are playing the Tirades. Take the Packers and 1.

 

Spread Beaters vs. WTNE, Beaters favored by 11: These two teams also split their two matches this season, as Jordan won in Week 3 and Matt won in Week 10. The matchups are all leaning Matt’s way in this one as RB Christian McCaffrey has a tough game Christmas Day game at home against Baltimore. Injuries are riddling both starting lineups. Questionable tags are on Beaters’ WR Tyreek Hill and RB/flex Isiah Pacheco and WTNE’s Michael Pittman Jr. Even with the tough matchup Monday, Jordan gets the only scoring advantage with McCaffrey at RB1, and every other position, except defense, leans towards the Beaters. The matchups of note tonight are WTNE’s QB of the month Matthew Stafford at home against the Saints, and Beaters RB Kyren Williams, who had 21 last week. If Williams has another big day, this one could be over. Matt had a scoring drought last week and Jordan’s team went crazy with a season-high 136. We think both teams revert to the mean. Take the Beaters by 5.

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