Could Blazing Saddles' RB be the new No. 1? Will Invaiders ever lose? Please? And will Recliners and Tirades ever win? Please?
Jonathan Taylor rejoices after he was not protected by the Tirades prior to the 2021 draft. Also, he scored a lot of points this week for Blayze, who was able to make a draft-day trade to get the former Wisconsin stud.
There could be a very strong argument that if we were starting a new league from scratch this week, Blazing Saddles RB Jonathan Taylor could very well be considered for the first pick in a draft, a place held sacred by Panther RB Christian McCaffrey for the better part of the last three to four years.
Could we have a new No. 1? Taylor submitted any resume he needed to in a 31-point performance against the Del Mar Packers, including a dagger-to-the-heart 72-yard scamper, on Thursday night.
The game was over before it got started.
The Saddles did not get much else last week, and Blayze did not need much in a week devoid of much scoring. No one except Matt Pringle’s Spread Beaters topped 100 points. The Saddles’ victory opens up a two-game lead in the ST Division with six to play in the regular season.
No other game symbolized what was wrong with the NFL in Week 9 better than the 47-43 barnburner closed out Monday between the defending champ Pillow Biters and Chuck Nelson’s Gerbils. The Pillow Biters prevailed in a nail-biter, or a yawn-fest. You decide.
Any semblance or normalcy was turned on its head in Week 9. Black meant white. Left meant right. Dogs were sleeping with cats. It was utter mayhem. The four highest-scoring teams in the league – the Cowboys, Rams, Chiefs and Bills – scored a total of four touchdowns, combined.
The top-scoring quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, was forced to the sideline by the pandemic that has gripped the nation for more than a year. The second-best quarterback this year, Josh Allen, was humiliated by the Jaguars. The Jags! And, for fun, the third-string quarterback on the New York Jets, Josh Johnson, forced into action Thursday outscored all of the top QBs in Week 9. It was that kind of week.
It was wacky enough that the Invaiders won their eighth straight game and only scored 66. The aforementioned Spread Beaters kept pace in the Silent Division with their fourth straight. Other streaks of note were a four-game losing streak by the Rangers ended and four-game losing streaks are still alive for the Recliners and Tirades.
Looking to Week 10, we hope will have some normalcy return. The Band Aids and Tirades take center stage along with the Blazing Saddles and Gerbils in the ST Division. In the Silent Division, the Invaiders take on the Recliners and the Spread Beaters travel to the Pillow Biters. The lone interdivision match is the Brothers Lambert meeting in Del Mar.
Spread Beaters 122, Band Aids 72: The tightest race in the league still remains in the Silent Division as the 7-2 Spread Beaters kept pace with “He Who Must Not Be Named.”
And the Spread Beaters kept pace in grand style with a week-high 122 and anyone and everyone was in double figures for Matt’s crew. Lamar Jackson led the way with 30, Nick Chubb returned from injury to score twice and post 27 and the New England defense even scored in a 20-point effort. Get used to hearing about defenses. And, those bloody kickers.
The Band Aids got 16 from Alvin Kamara, 15 from the Houston defense and 11 from Graham Gano, one of those freaking kickers.
Invaiders 66, Tirades 59: Rams kicker Matt Gay literally kicked “He Who Must Not Be Named” to this win with 12 points Sunday night. Scoring was at a real premium in this one, or we would not be talking about kickers again. No Invaiders running back, wide out or tight end scored a touchdown this week. And Colt McCoy, subbing for an injured Kyler Murray, tossed the lone TD in the win column, and had a team-high 15. The Tirades got 17 from the Miami defense, 12 from Dalvin Cook and 10 from Patrick Mahomes.
Blazing Saddles 65, Packers 43: As previously mentioned, Taylor was the star of this match as he rumbled for a league-high 31 points Thursday night – nearly half of the Saddles’ production. The win opens up a two-game lead over a trio of teams chasing Blayze. The Packers, Band Aids and Tirades all sit at 4-6. If the playoffs started this week, which they don’t, you dummy, the Pack would hold a 1-point advantage in scoring (746 to 745) over Garcia’s Band Aids. But, we are getting way, way ahead of ourselves here. There are plenty of chances for Jeff, Bob and even that Ron guy to mess things up over the next six weeks.
Jalen Hurts scored 16 for the Saddles and Marquise Brown added 11. Josh Allen and Myles Gaskin were the only two Packers to get to double digits as they both scored 10.
Rangers 97, Recliners 85: The Rangers pulled into a third-place tie at 3-6 in the division with Chris’ Recliners and Huey’s Pillow Biters and stayed within one game of a potential playoff spot behind the trio of ST teams chasing the Saddles at 4-5. Justin Herbert led the Rangers with a team-high 31 points to tie Blayze’s star for the high score for the week. George Kittle finally returned to the field and scored 15 and Melvin Gordon III added another 15. The Recliners got 22 from Joe Mixon, 17 from DeVonta Smith and 12 from Travis Kelce.
Pillow Biters 47, Gerbils 43: This was uglier than it looked. Four players scored double figures in this brutal game, and three of those were on Chuck’s losing side of the field. Ouch.
Eighteen points from Trevor Semien (New ORleands QB) was the only double-digit effort by Huey’s boys. Christian McCaffrey finally returned to the field for the Gerbils after nursing an injury for the past five weeks. He notched 10 for the Gerbils, along with 13 from Ryan Tanne-thrill (Titans QB) and 10 more from Ka’imi Fairbairn (the Houston kicker).
Tough-luck teams through Week 8 – Three teams have had more than 700 points scored against them this season (the Rangers, 744; Packers, 729; the Recliners, 726). Don’t be surprised to see a few more lucky bounces to go their way in the coming weeks if that trend turns around.
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