Ekeler rallies Invaiders to win over Tirades; Saddles ride Band Aids into the sunset; Beaters relax after an easy weekend with Recliners
Jonathan Taylor ran all over the Bills to lead Blazing Saddles to another win.
There comes a time in a league’s history when you just put down the rivalries, the trash talk and the stabs in Bob’s back to just watch a thing of beauty.
When the Hallmark Channel's Christmas movie of the day movie was over Sunday morning, I was transfixed by the absolute beat down Colts RB Jonathan Taylor handed the once-fierce Buffalo Bills defense. He slashed, gashed and ran over just about anyone dumb enough to get in his way for 175 yards, 5 touchdowns and an effort that certainly parks him in the Top 5 scoring efforts of all time.
The 49-point effort ties him with two other former scoring legends and moved him in range of the best one-day performances of all time. The leaders still in the clubhouse are the 54 scored by Clinton Portis in 2003, the 51 by Doug Martin in 2012. Tied for third with Taylor are Shaun Alexander’s 49 in 2002 and Le’Veon Bell in 2016.
After Taylor’s bombshell, the Blazing Saddles did not need much else to dispatch of father-in-law and season-ending towel-tossing Band Aids. Taylor and a kicker is about all Blaze needed to grab his third straight win and open up a 3-game lead in the division over the 5-6 Packers and Tirades.
In the Silent Division, the Spread Beaters and Invaiders both won and sit atop the league at 9-2. The Rangers inched into sole possession of third place at 5-6 and sit tied with brother Jeff and Ron for the battle for the final playoff spot.
As Week 12 dawns, the game of the week looks to be in the S-Ting Division as the Tirades look to establish some dignity against division-leading Blayze and the Packers take on the Band Aids. The Saddles and Tirades both were involved in the first trades of the season with the Band Aids. Hender landed the rights to Garcia’s James Conner (Arizona). In other trade news from last week, the Blazing Saddles upgraded at WR with the acquisition of CeeDee Lamb, also from “Toss-in-the-Towel” Garcia.
Elsewhere this week, the Silent Division features the Spread Beaters and the Rangers and the Invaiders and Pillow Biters tussle. The lone inter-division match pits the Recliners and the Gerbils.
Remember, Week 12 gets an early start with three games on Thanksgiving. Make sure you get those lineups in early as the Bears and Lions start action, followed by the Cowboys and Raiders and the Bills and Saints.
Blazing Saddles 111, Band Aids 63: To put it mildly, this one was over early. At about 11 a.m. Sunday. By then, Taylor had already run roughshod for two TDs and 100 yards before most folks in Buffalo had even settled in to their seats. The Colts just said, “Here he comes. Try to stop him.” The Bills didn’t stop anything. And another living legend was born. He didn’t need much else, but Blayze still got plenty. Jalen Hurts racked up 29 more points and is starting to lay claim to the best QB in fantasy these days. Najee Harris, briefly sidelined Sunday night with a concussion, clocked in with 11 more points. Garcia only had two claw their way into double digits. Aaron Rodgers rode the coat tails of Davante Adams’ big day and fed the beast and racked up 33 points. Tyler Lockett, listed in the Witness Protection Program, resurfaced on an otherwise dismal performance by Seattle’s offense to pile up enough yards to amass 11 points. He failed to score a TD. It was the third straight loss for the Band Aids but he has two more draft picks to play with next season.
Spread Beaters 106, Recliners 81: The scorched earth Spread Beaters plowed their way to their sixth straight win and the defense led the way, as New England made a mockery of Atlanta with a shutout and a team-high 28 points – including two quick touchdowns in garbage time. Nick Chubb returned to his glory with a TD and more than 144 yards of offense and 20 points. Stephon Diggs found paydirt and added 14. The Recliners fell to 4-7 and sit tied with the Band Aids in seventh place, one game back of the three-way logjam for fourth. With four weeks left, the Recliners still have three soft games they should be favored in and could still rally to sneak his way in. This week, Chris did not have enough fire power. He got 24 from Joe Mixon, who seemed to score every time a Bengals highlight was shown, 18 from Tom Brady and 15 from Nick Folk.
Rangers 106, Pillow Biters 62: If no one has noticed, the “other” Lambert brother has quietly snuck his way back into contention. He clawed his way to 5-6 and the three-way tie for fourth with a pounding of The Consortium. He got 34 points from Justin Herbert in his wild Sunday night game against his beloved Steelers, 28 from Justin Jefferson and 10 from Tyreek Hill. The Consortium, now tied in the basement with the Gerbils at 3-8, may got from first to worst in the blink of an eye. He got 23 from the Saints QB (bye bye Baker Mayfield), and 19 points from D’Andre Swift.
Packers 77, Gerbils 53: The other team moving up in the rankings are those blasted Packers. Jeff got 14 points each from Josh Allen, Deebo Samuel and Myles Gaskin. The Gerbils, in a battle for the first pick next season, got 17 from Christian McCaffrey.
Austin Ekeler, who hardly has been mentioned much in weekly recaps this season, went off against the shitty Steelers defense on Sunday, much to the dismay of the Tirades.
Invaiders 93, Tirades 80: I had this story already written Sunday afternoon. I was going to bemoan how every player move blew up in my face. I released Brandon Aiyuk (never release a 49er) and he scored 14 and the chump I grabbed, Michael Gallup, galloped to a miserable four points. And I had thought the Bills defense at home against the Colts (-7) was a smarter move, until that Taylor guy went nuts, than the Ravens at Chicago (a plus 9 effort), and, finally when Kyler Murray was announced as an inactive, I thought Russell Wilson at home (8) was a smarter play than Colt McCoy without De’Andre Hopkins on the road in a hostile atmosphere (22). Boy, was I wrong on all of those. It was so bad midway through the afternoon that I had all but conceded to Ron. He cautioned, “You still have Ekeler, and he can still go off.” Did he ever, scoring 4 times for a team-high 35 points. Combine his effort with the 14 kicked by Pittsburgh’s Chris Boswell Sunday night, this game flipped from a 30-point defeat to a 10-point win. Jeez. About the only other scoring I got was 23 from Davonte Adams. The Tirades had three stellar efforts from Dalvin Cook (18), Terry McScorin’ McLaurin (16) and recently acquired James Conner (15). It was what he didn’t get that cooked his goose this Thanksgiving eve. He got a stinky 8 from Patrick Mahomes and a steamy turd 4 from D.J. Metcalf. Ron had much raunchier words to describe Mahomes.
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