Tight ends step out of the shadows to dominate in JSFL semifinal showdowns as Recliners and Spread Beaters advance to final
T.J. Hockenson hadn't done much in Minnesota since being traded from Detroit, but he landed a 22 on the Saddles in the semifinal matchup.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We don’t hear a peep out of these Silent Division team owners for 17 weeks, and then they go and take all the cheese. Next week, it will be the fourth-straight season a Silent Division owner will walk away with the trophy and all the cash from Del Mar. A Shit-Talker has not won since the Band Aids took the title in 2017 and Jeff Lambert’s Packers took it in 2018. Heaven help us.
Feels pretty damned good, if I have to admit it.
We know will have two Silent Division teams in the Super Bowl finale because the two remaining Shhh Brothers dropped an ungodly beat down on the two remaining Shit Talkers. And the rout is still going on until the Chargers and Colts wrap things up Monday night.
Despite the results not being final until Monday night, both of these games were over early. As one team owner said to Vern Saturday afternoon, “If this was a boxing match, they’d stop both fights.”
And that was being generous. And, it should be recognized that the two highest-scoring teams this season will take one more step into the ring starting next week. In one corner will be three-time champion Chris Zimnoch (winner in 2011, 2016 and 2019) and in the other corner will be 2015 champ Matt Pringle.
We will let Ron Hender dive into the nitty gritty of who might be favored and what matchups there might be to exploit next week. But on this given weekend, two tight ends came out of shadows to steal the show. And, they were not the two best tight ends in the league.
Again, these games are not final, but they are over.
Spread Beaters 93 (with 1 to play), Blazing Saddles 38 (with 1 to play): T.J. Hockenson was the star of this blowout, leaving traded-for Saddle TE Mark Andrews an afterthought in this one. The Minnesota tight end had himself quite a day. He hauled in 13 passes, scored twice and dropped a tasty 22 points on the scoreboard. The JSFL Decision Desk wanted to call this game a final Saturday night but left it in the “Probably-Over-But-We-Don’t-Want-to-Look-Stupid” status with Blayze still having his QB (Justin Herbert) still to be counted. Calmer heads prevailed until Christmas dinner was digested and Aaron Jones hocked up a dismal 2 points at Miami. Pringle tossed a coin at quarterback and passed on the tempting Minshew Mania and gave Daniel Jones the call and the Giants’ signal caller responded with 20 points. Derrick Henry, after a slow start, rumbled for 17 points. Minshew, also after a slow start, finished with 23 points. Pringle still had the Indianapolis kicker Monday night. ESPN is predicting a finish over 100 points. The Saddles, who limped into the playoffs, remained in a turkey-induced coma and continued the scoring drought Saturday. ESPN predicts Blayze will finish in in the low-60s but that might be a stretch. The only double-digit effort Saturday was 14 from Giants’ kicker Graham Gano. When your kicker is your leading scorer, you are in big trouble, as you all should know.
Recliners 119, Tirades 60 (with 1 to go): The Recliners shed a two-week scoring slumber to land haymaker after haymaker at the heavily favored Tirades. The referees had to step into the middle of this one several times Saturday morning to give standing-eight counts to the dazed Tirades. Knowing when to turn on the scoring spigot is half the battle in this game. And Chris’ Recliners sure let the firehoses loose. Tee Higgins got the party started early with five catches, a TD and 16 points. Saquon Barkley quietly rumbled for 18 points, but the knock-out blows came when George Kittle (yay, 49ers!) stepped on the field in San Jose. He hauled in two touchdowns – the second week in a row he has scored two TDs – and 24 points. Jared Goff added insult to injury with 26 at home. Well played, Chris. Well played. And, the Recliners had plenty of punch still left on the bench. Devonta Smith hung 23 on Dallas and Joe Mixon tallied 19 for Cincinnati. The Kansas City connection of Patrick Mahomes and the traded-for TE Travis Kelce combined for 33 of the 60 points Ron scored Saturday. No one else was in double figures. Miles Sanders, the bane of Hender’s existence, tallied a frustrating 5 points in a 34-point effort by Philadelphia. Stefon Diggs turned in his third straight clunker, too, with only two points at Chicago. Hender still has Mike Williams going Monday night. He is projected to finish with 68 points. Oh, and his late-season pickup of RB Cam Akers? Of course he scored 31. On the bench.
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