The JSFL Today staff, which includes Vern Ahrendes, cannot stand another week of exploits about his "awesome" team, which won again in Week 7 to improve to 6-1
The JSFL Today staff is still trying to figure out what's worse: having to write about Invaiders wins every week, or having to mention Rams WR Cooper Kupp each week. The bastard scored another 27 points in Week 7.
Oh, we almost forgot the other big news: the Gerbils finally ended their losing skid. So now we only have to get someone (anyone!) to put an end to the Invaiders winning streak so all will be right with the world.
We can definitively say sayonara to the 4-game slide for the Gerbils as Chuck reared up from Hawaii to hand the Packers their fourth loss of the season.
The cellar-dwelling Gerbils are … wait for it … only two games out of a playoff spot. Crazier things have happened in this wacky league.
Week 7 was all about ending a few annoying streaks, extending two more and just surviving the biggest batch of byes on the NFL calendar in 2021. In all, six NFL teams were on vacation last week, leaving several JSFL owners scrambling to the waiver wire for help.
The craziest ongoing streak continues to be the Invaiders, winner of the last six this season. It is the most wins this team has had in at least three seasons (I could only go back to the 2018 season). The Invaiders finished 2019 with six wins, five in 2020 and 2018. The latest win, over the Recliners, sent Chris to 3-4 on the season but he, too, is still within spitting distance (one win) of a playoff spot.
The newsletter team thought we would interview Sasquatch before Vern had a winning season again. But, there he goes, defying gravity, and all sense of dignity and decency as he continues to hold a one-game lead over the Spread Beaters, who dispatched the Rangers.
We don’t mean to spill water on his little, ugly boogie dance, but, Vern, you have to win 8 to make sure you finish the year with a winning record.
“Rookies,” Packers owner and league commissioner muttered while leaving his league box Sunday.
The other streak of positive note is the Blazing Saddles winning their fourth straight by dispatching father-in-law and Bland Aids owner Bob.
In Week 8, the Games of the Week appear to be the suddenly struggling Tirades and the still-surging Spread Beaters. The other game of note is the Packers and Recliners, both at 3-4, mixing it up. Elsewhere, the Invaiders host the Rangers, the Bland Aids and Pillow Biters dance, and the Saddles and Gerbils go another round.
Invaiders 104, Recliners 92: I love it when we can prove Ron “Jimmy the Greek” Hender wrong. OK, maybe only one of us reads his previews on Thursdays/Fridays and got a good chuckle when Ron boldly predicted the Recliners, who were 10-point dogs earlier in the week, to win by 2 after waiver-wire grab D’Ernest Johnson rolled out a 22-point effort Thursday night. “We are going to keep picking against you until you finally lose,” ‘Jimmy’ Hender said Monday. After seeing the preview Friday from Hender, the plucky Invaiders used it as locker room fodder. Cooper Kupp continued to hear chants of “MVP” as he led the team in scoring, again, with a 27-point effort against Detroit. Kyler Murray added 20 and Elijah Mitchell countered the waiver move with 16 of his own. Matthew Stafford led the Recliners with 27 points and Nick Folk kicked home 13 to go with D’Ernest. The acquisition of the Browns RB looks to be lucrative for at least another week until both Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt are back in action. Chubb is back on the practice field. Hunt likely is another few weeks away (on IR, a 3-game mandatory stay).
Spread Beaters 113, Rangers 97: Matt’s monsters improved to 5-2 and stayed right on the Invadiers’ bumper by manhandling the Rangers behind 25 from Mike Evans, 23 from Lamar Jackson and 22 from Damien Harris. The Rangers Tua’d up and answered with 25 from the Miami QB, 21 from the Tampa defense and 16 from Michael Pittman.
Blazing Saddles 112, Band Aids 80: The Saddles surged into first place last week and rode the hot hand of Ja’Marr Chase (26 points), Jalen Hurts (24) and Kyle Pitts 16 to win while sweating out a big night from Alvin Kamara Monday night. The Band Aids saw a 3-game win streak end in this one. Aaron Rodgers scored 23, Kamara 23, Graham Gano (another fucking kicker!) 15 and Josh Jacobs 11.
Pillow Biters 88, Tirades 66: Ron smelled this stinker coming, and he even predicted it in the preview last Friday. The defending champ Pillow Biters made it two wins in a row behind 19 from A.J. Brown, 14 from Mike Gesicki and just 13 from Derrick Henry. The Tirades just sputtered on offense. The Green Bay defense led the way (never a good sign) on Sunday with 12 and Patrick Mahomes had another 11-point stinker. D.K. Metcalf hauled in an 84-yard bomb on the fifth play from scrimmage Monday night and did nothing the rest of the night to finish with 15. "If I'd only played the Packers," Hender lamented. Alas, that gift went to the Gerbs.
Gerbils 72, Packers 55: Break up the Gerbils and one of these days Christian McCaffrey will be suiting up again. Chuck did not need the scoring star this week as the Packers had the scoring low for the week. Ryan Tannehill led the Gerbs with 18, Myles Gaskin added 13 and Corey Davis 10. The Packers got 17 from Chris Godwin and 15 from Deebo Samuel, and that was about it.
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