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It's Championship week!

Updated: Dec 30, 2023

Or, as it's also known, "Please, God, don't let Bob win" week: Garcia's Band Aids take on Matt Pringle's Spread Beaters for JSFL title


Bob Garcia is hoping that Amon-Ra St. Brown flexes his scoring muscles this weekend.


Welcome to Championship week! As fellow owner Ron spelled out earlier this week, it is two juggernauts and former champions squaring off – Matt, who is looking to defend his title from 2022, and Bob Garcia who has been part of this league for nearly 40 years. But, all that matters is finding a way to keep Bob from winning again.


Both owners got to the title game in two defiantly different ways. Bob, who stunk like three weeks after a fish fry last year, came into 2023 thinking he would have the first pick. Bob also made some aggressive trades before the deadline. Matt was picking at the No. 10 hole of the draft each round. And it was Pringle’s draft strategy, prowess of working the waiver wire and his decision to stand pat at the deadline that made many people question his roster, his guts and other parts of his anatomy (do we sense a bias in this reporting so far? Good. Glad you noticed.)


The biggest twist of The Finals is the whiplash Matt suffered last week with the loss of TE T.J. Hockenson (No. 4 in scoring so far this season) after a brutal knee contusion last week. He also might be without his flex RB Isiah Pacheco, who was also banged up in the Chiefs loss to the Raiders last Sunday. For the Band Aids, Raheem Mostert may be out for championship week. He is listed as “questionable” as of this writing, as he has been the last three weeks. Also questionable are Kenneth Walker III for Bob, and Tyreek Hill for the Beaters.


This will be the third meeting between these two pain in the asses this season. The Band Aids won by a point (73-72) in Week 9, and the Beaters clobbered the Band Aids in Week 13 (143-98). The Beaters come into this one favored by 4 points (105-101).


Matt Pringle has the league's highest-scoring fucking kicker in Brandon Aubrey.


Bob gets the predicted scoring edge at QB with Jalen Hurts taking on the Cardinals at home, and tight end George Kittle at Washington. That 49ers game, by the way, will go a long way in determining who will win this one. Bob rosters Kittle and WR Brandon Aiyuk. The Lions (Bob’s keeper was WR Amon-Ra St. Brown) at Dallas (Matt rosters the No. 1 kicker in the league with Brandon Aubrey) game also will be crucial as will be the Rams at New York Giants game (Matt rosters RB Kyren Williams) and Rams lover Bob will start WR Puka Nacua at flex, who went off for 23 on Bob’s bench in the semifinals.


The Beaters get the predicted scoring edge at RB2 with Kyren Williams, both WRs (Tyreek Hill, if he plays, and A.J. Brown) and at flex (Pacheco, if he plays). When the Swami looks at this, his gut tells him to take anyone except Bob.


So, we will trust that crappy gut and tell you: Bet the house and take the Beaters and 5.

 

Championship week schedule


We had one Thursday night game as the Jets traveled to Cleveland , but it will have no bearing on this game as Matt and Bob do not roster any Jets or Brownies we completely ignored it and filed this preview the morning after (the Browns beat the hapless Jets. Yawn).


The Championship game gets rolling Saturday as the Lions travel to Dallas at 5:15 p.m. and Bob will roll with WR St. Brown (the No. 5 WR in the league this season) and Matt counters with his fucking kicker.


Speaking of those fucking kickers, the Finals features the two highest-scoring kickers in the league this season. (So, take note Ron: You should grab a kicker with one of those extra, early draft picks next August).


New Year’s Eve has a full slate of games and we will know our winner by Sunday afternoon (Matt does not have any players from Green Bay or Minnesota. And we seriously doubt Bob will sub the Minnesota QB for Jalen Hurts). There are no NFL games on New Year’s Day, as the college Final Four bowl games take centerstage (take note of stars for next summer’s draft).

 

Scoring Leaders

(Top 5 at each position through Week 16)


Quarterbacks                          Pts Avg

Josh Allen (Packers) 337 22.5

Jalen Hurts (BA) 330 22.0

Lamar Jackson (Inv) 294 19.6

Dak Prescott (Blaz) 289 19.3

Brock Purdy (Tir) 275 18.3

 

Running Backs Pts Avg

Christian McCaffrey (WTNE) 303 20.2

Raheem Mostert (BA) 231 15,4

Kyren Williams (SB) 189 17.2

Derrick Henry (SB) 181 12.1

Rachaad White (WTNE) 178 11.9

  

Wide Receivers Pts Avg

Tyreek Hill (SB) 230 16.4

CeeDee Lamb (Inv) 209 13.9

Mike Evans (Pack) 188 12.5

A.J. Brown (SB) 173 11.5

Amon-Ra St. Brown (BA) 169 12.1

 

Tight Ends Pts Avg

Sam LaPorta (Pack) 128 8.5

George Kittle (BA) 126 8.4

Travis Kelce (Rec) 119 8.5

T.J. Hockenson (SB) 118 7.9

David Njoku (WTNE) 102 6.9

 

Defenses  Pts Avg

Baltimore (BA) 148 9.9

Dallas (Inv) 135 9.0

Miami (Blaz) 127 8.5

Cleveland (Pack) 120 8.0

 

Fucking Kickers Pts Avg

Dallas (SB) 157 10.5

Baltimore (BA) 146 9.7

Cleveland (Blaz) 144 9.6

Philadelphia (Tir) 141 9.4

Seattle (WTNE) 134 8.9

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