WTNE stumbles again, opening the door for Rangers; Recliners spread out offense to stun Spread Beaters
The NFL has been socking it to Beaters WR Tyreek Hill, fining him more than $100,000.
It appears that the Week 5 version of the Band Aids, which lost by nearly 60 points to the Packers, was indeed just an aberration. Bob Garcia's team bounced back last weekend in a big way, throttling the hapless Gerbils 123-80 to re-establish themselves as the team to beat in 2023. The Band Aids lead the ST division at 5-1, still a game ahead of the luckier-than-thou Blazing Saddles, who needed a 24-point effort from Dak Prescott on Monday night to rally from a double-digit deficit to beat the equally punchless Tirades 69-61 in a game that should not have been televised.
Over in the Silent Division, Jordan Garcia's still-not-renamed Worst Team Name Ever faltered for the second consecutive week as the Rangers have moved into a tie for the division lead. The Spread Beaters could have made it a three-way, but Matt Pringle evidently thought better of it and intentionally lost to Chris Zimnoch's Recliners, dropping into a 3-3 tie for second. Only the Invalids, which by 20 to the Pack, are currently out of the running in that division at 2-4, but in the Silent Division, is anyone really ever out of the running? It does not appear so.
SWAMI GOES OFF, AGAIN: It was another 4-1 week for the Swami's predictability record, and he's now 19-11 on the season. He successfully nailed the Rangers upset win, and his only loss was putting his money on the Spread Beaters, who did not come even close to beating the spread.
BAND AIDS 123, GERBILS 80: Raheem Mostert ran for 30 points and keeper Amon-Ra St. Brown and kicker Justin Tucker both posted 18 as Bob Garcia's team got back to their winning ways (5-1) with a rout of the Gerbils (0-6). The Chiefs defense scored 14 to lead Chuck Nelson's quest for a winless season and first pick in the 2024 draft.
PACKERS 104, INVALIDS 82: It was like the old days in the JSFL for Jeff Lambert as he watched his RBs, Kyren Williams and Travis Etienne Jr., combine for 40 points in his team's second consecutive 100-point effort. Free-agent pickup Adam Thielen added 17 and it just didn't matter that QB Josh Allen only came through with 13. The Pack are quietly stalking the ST division leaders, now in third at 3-3 behind the Band Aids and Saddles. QB Lamar Jackson's 16 led the Invalids (2-4).
RECLINERS 95, BEATERS 90: Chris Zimnoch got double-digit scoring out of every position in his lineup save the new Flex position and his "defense" (Miami) as they stunned the Beaters in front of a sellout crowd at La-Z-Boy Stadium. QB Trevor Lawrence led the team with 14, kicker Daniel Carlson had 13 and everyone else scored either 12 or 11. That was too much for Pringle's team, which got 22 from Tyreek Hill, who continued to play without socks (this is no joke, he's getting fined $20K a game).
RANGERS 84, WTNE 76: John Lambert has slowly been trying to reel in Jordan and last weekend he succeeded. The teams are now tied at 4-2 atop the Silent Division. QB Jalen Hurts led the Rangers with 19 and John got 14 each from Breece Hall and Keenan Allen (on Monday night for the latter, icing the win). In a somewhat ironic twist, Jordan's top scorer (18 points) was the guy throwing the ball to Allen (Chargers Q' Justin Herbert) and we could hear him yelling "No, no! Not HIM!" all the way across the country.
SADDLES 69, TIRADES 61: There was a brief moment on Sunday when it appeared that this one was going the other way, that the Tirades would somehow win and the division would have a surprising three-way tie for second place. But then someone woke up Dak Prescott on Monday, told him he might want to play a bit better than he did the weekend before if he didn't want to lose his job, and he did just that. Prescott rallied to score a season-high 24 points (he'd been averaging 11.2) and Blayze Hanson's Saddles are now 4-2 instead of 3-3. The Tirades, who live and die with a good portion of the 49ers offense each week, died this week because of a the horrific day San Francisco had against Cleveland. Somehow, benched SF kicker Jake Moody (two missed FGs, including the possible game-winner) still managed to outscore starter Jake Elliott (who posted a donut in the Eagles loss to the Jets).
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