Favored WTNE, Tirades both choke with two weeks left in the regular season; that opens the door (slightly) for the Gerbils and Beaters
Bucky Irving scored 24 points to lead the Gerbils past the Tirades last weekend, throwing the race for the final playoff berth into complete and utter chaos.
Bucky Fucking Irving. Bijan "It's About Time" Robinson. Those are the guys to blame for this continued confusion about the postseason.
Irving, who was the throw-in RB in a Nov. 13 trade that sent Josh Jacobs to the Shitty Teams Division-leading Band Aids, scored 24 to lead the Gerbils to an upset win over the Tirades (who, for the second time in a month, lost to the only other team in the league to outscore them).
Robinson, who scored only five points in his previous start, bounced back to his double-digit scoring ways with a team-leading 19 as the Recliners squeaked past WTNE.
Both Ron Hender's Tirades (6-7, 19 percent chance at a postseason berth) and Jordan Garcia's WTNE (6-7, 39 percent chance) were both one lineup change from winning those games, but more about that later.
The victory for the Gerbils (6-7) increased their playoff hopes to 25 percent, as they have outscored the Tirades by 25 (the league web site has not yet accounted for the 13 points scored by the third replacement KC placekicker, Spencer Shrader, on Sunday). The 6-7 Beaters, who like the Gerbils appeared to have a fork in them a week ago, have a 22-percent chance to grab the final playoff spot after beating the Band Aids.
Here's a look back at the upset-filled Week 13 results.
GERBILS 112, TIRADES 106: When TE Brock Bowers, sent to the Tirades from the Gerbils just before the trade deadline, scored 20 points on Black Friday, Tirades owner Ron Hender figured he had this one in the bag. He had only managed double-digits from the TE position only once all season (thanks, Kyle Pitts, for nothing). But Gerbils owner Chuck Nelson had other ideas. Irving's 24 points, for example. QB Sam Darnold's 19. And 16 more from RB Chase Brown, and 13 from the Jets defense. Meanwhile, the Tirades got more underperformances throughout the lineup. Christian "Madden Curse" McCaffrey's short (3 games!) season ended with a second-quarter knee injury during that blizzard game in Buffalo. He scored 6, not 15, before leaving the game. The Tampa defense gagged against the league's worst team (Carolina). Two points there, not 8. Aaron Jones (6) and A.J. Brown (7) were expected to score 12 each. On the Bench: Browns WR Jerry Jeudy was playing a revenge game against his former team, the Broncos. Of course he scored 31, so why was he on the Tirades bench? RB Nick Chubb scored a TD on the bench for the second consecutive game. For the Gerbils, WR Jayden Reed, who came over in the A.J. Brown trade with the Tirades, had 16.
RANGERS 105, INVAIDERS 90: John Lambert's already locked in as the No. 3 playoff team and is playing like he belongs there. TE George Kittle posted a donut but 7 of the other 8 starters scored in double figures, led by WR Mike Evans' 17 points in his return from injury and 16 more from both QB Jalen Hurts and RB Kyren Williams. Kicker Chris Boswell (Go Steelers!) had a five-FG game and 15. RB Rico Dowdle had 18 to lead the Invaiders. On the Bench: Nothing on the Invaiders' bench would have led to victory, but RB Najee Harris (18) would have been an improvement at Flex over Rhamondre Stevenson (9). John had the best starter at every position except defense in his lineup, and the Steelers would have only improved his scoring by 1 point over Buffalo (12 to 11).
PACKERS 102, WHO DEY 71: QB Anthony Richardson led the Pack (3-10) with 20 points and the Broncos defense and TE David Njoku added 17 each in commissioner Jeff Lambert's win over Matt McCumber's Who Dey (5-8). RB James Cook had 17 for Matty. No one on either bench would have mattered in this one.
BEATERS 99, BAND AIDS 87: Defending two-time champ Matt Pringle's hopes at a three-peat still have a thready pulse after his Beaters (6-7) scored an upset win over Shitty Teams Division-leading Bob Garcia's Band Aids (8-5). Leading the way was the Chargers defense (19) thanks to two pick-sixes in a win over the Browns. In addition to RB Brian Robinson's 16 points, Matt got 14 each from QB Kyler Murray and WR Tyreek Hill and 11 each from kicker Will Lutz and WR Ladd McConkey. QB Lamar Jackson had 24 to lead the Band Aids, who also got a combined 30 point from their RBs, most of that (27) from recent acquisitions Jacobs (17) and Derrick Henry (10). Kicker Chase McLaughlin had 17. On the Bench: One move would have gotten the Band Aids a win here... Terry "Scorin'" McLaurin had 19 on the bench, better than either Calvin Ridley (4) or Cooper Kupp (1), but the Beaters would have been +13 with QB Russell Wilson (Go Steelers!) over Murray.
RECLINERS 95, WTNE 93: Chris Zimnoch's league-leading Recliners won this one the Costco way, with bulk. In addition to Bijan's 19, four others scored in double figures led by RB Joe Mixon's 17. Kicker Brandon McManus had 13, WRs Marvin Harrison Jr. (12) and Courtland Sutton (10) rounded out the double-digit scores. QB Jaden Daniels led WTNE with 27. On the Bench: Jordan wins this with a change at WR. Xavier Worthy's 5 points instead of Tank Dell (2) would have been enough. Conversely, Chris could have used QB C.J. Stroud (13) over Justin Herbert (7) and TE Sam Laporta (12) over Dallas Goedert (9).
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