And then there were two — the Tirades and WTNE, both tied at 7-7 — after 14 weeks of gut-wrenching agony playing for one last spot in the playoffs
Bob Garcia hopes trade-deadline pickup Josh Jacobs will point the way to a Band Aids title.
Call it a “play-in-game” for the right to take on the Silent Division-winning champions (still to be determined). All eyes will be on two games this weekend as Ron Hender’s Tirades take on the arch rival Band Aids and WTNE takes on the down-and-out and gutted Packers.
Both the Tirades and WTNE could lose and one likely still backs in, but that is a cheap-ass way to end the regular season. Only a real man would stand up to a “must-win” scenario and avoid the more confusing potential of “who-scores-more” scenario that might end up deciding who advances. Unfortunately, they have no control over that more potential confusing end to the regular season.
As Ron eloquently spelled it out on Tuesday, the Tirades came out of nowhere to drop a league’s best all-time of 166 points last week to inch 4 points ahead of Jordan’s WTNE if it comes down to a points tiebreaker. Lurking in the weeds are two more teams, the Santa Monica Spread Beaters and the Gerbils, who still have a mathematical “pull-it-out-of-thin-air” scenario to advance to the money round. For Matt to move on, the Tirades and WTNE both have to lose and the Spread Beaters would need to outscore both of those teams by 20+ points to advance.
ESPN has not completely ruled out the possibility (a 1-in-100 chance; so, you are saying there is a chance) that the Gerbils have a snowball’s chance in hell at still being alive. For this improbable scenario to unfold, the Tirades, WTNE, and Beaters all have to lose and Chuck has to outscore (in all probability set a new league, all-time scoring record) the Tirades or Jordan by more than 70 points.
Stranger things have happened, but, that, as they say, is fanciful thinking. We think Jordan will win and Ron has a decent chance to upset the Band Aids to start the point-counting tiebreaker into effect.
The third and fourth games of note will be the Spread Beaters taking on the Rangers and the Recliners taking on the Gerbils.
Currently, Chris Zimnoch’s Hermosa Recliners have the tentative No. 1 seed designation but John Lambert’s Rangers are one game back and, more importantly, have a big scoring edge if the Recliners lose for the second week in a row and finish the season tied.
The Week Ahead
All 32 teams will be in action this week and for the balance of the playoffs, thank god. The NFL starts the week Thursday with another potential scoring free-for-all as the Rams travel to the Bay Area to take on the 49ers (yay!). The Packers visit the Seahawks Sunday night and the schedule closes out with two games on Monday – the Bears travel to Minnesota and the Falcons visit Las Vegas.
Here's a look at the week fifteen matchups.
Game of the Week
Tirades (7-7) vs Band Aids (9-5), Band Aids favored by 8: The gravy-stained knife might make a reappearance in this one as brother-in-law Bob would love nothing more than to put a knife in Ron’s ribs and end his postseason hopes once and for all. The Band Aids come into this one as a prohibitive favorite to sweep the three games the two teams have played this season. The Band Aids won, 94-77, in Week 4 and again, 134-115, in Week 10. This one gets off to a fast start Thursday as Bob’s Cooper “Fucking” Kupp takes on Ron’s flex RB Isaac Guerendo. The Band Aids are favored at quarterback (Lamar Jackson) and both RBs (Josh Jacobs and “King” Derrick Henry. The Band Aids are also favored at Flex with RB James Conner taking on New England. The lone favorable matchups for the Tirades are at WR with Ja’Marr Chase and the Ravens defense at the New York Giants. Take the Band Aids by 10.
The Close Ones?
Spread Beaters (6-8) vs Rangers (10-4), Rangers favored by 5: This one had all of the makings of a postseason preview up until about 2 weeks ago. It still might but a lot of other “what-ifs” and fairy tales have to happen for this to turn out happy for Pringle. And, John is motivated to win this week and grab the Silent Division championship and the top seed heading into the playoffs. He may not like the WTNE/Tirades first-round matchup, but it might be more enticing than having to take on the Band Aids as the No. 3-seed. The season certainly would have turned out a lot better for the Spread Beaters if he had found a way to be the Rangers (he lost in Week 7, 111-86, and in Week 12, 81-67). And, it looks like another uphill climb in this one as the Rangers are favored at QB (Jalen Hurts), WR (Nico Collins), tight end (George Kittle), and flex (WR Davante Adams). The Beaters have to make hay at RB, where he is favored with Tony Pollard and Brian Robinson Jr., and WR2 in Amon-Ra St. Brown. Further motivation might be for the Beaters to take a dive this week and grab the No. 3 draft pick next season, and pull for Bob to win it all. If the Band Aids owner hoists the trophy next August, Pringle gets the Band Aids’ first, third and fourth picks and gets to choose between protecting WRs Tyreek Hill or Amon-Ra St. Brown. Take the Rangers by 5.
Recliners (11-3) vs Gerbils (6-8), Recliners favored by 2. This game all comes down to Chris going into the playoffs as the top seed. He has the same dilemma as John. Would Chris rather take on the No. 4 seed (WTNE/Tirades) or the Band Aids? We are thinking he would rather take his chances with the No. 4 seed. The Recliners come in as a slight favorite behind the RB tandem of Bijan Robinson and Joe Mixon, WR Garrett Wilson and TE Sam LaPorta. The suddendly resurgent Gerbils are favored at QB (Sam Darnold), WR2 (Tee Higgins), flex (RB Chase Brown) and the Jets defense at Jacksonville. Take the Recliners by 1.
Invaiders (6-8) vs Who Dey (5-9), Invaiders favored by 6: Matty from the Natty has already wrapped up the second pick in the August draft and Vern would not mind “diving” into the third pick with a loss. This might come down to who sucks more. Who Dey won the only matchup they had this season in Week 3 (92-81) and the Invaders have been hit and miss scoring all season. I am hoping I suck once more. Take the Invaiders by 1.
The Blowout?
WTNE (7-7) vs Packers (3-11), WTNE favored by 7: This one only becomes interesting if the Tirades can upset the Band Aids in “The Game of the Week.” If the Tirades lose, this one should just be academic. Jordan’s starters are favored across the board. WTNE gets the edge at quarterback (Jayden Daniels at New Orleans), running back (Saquon Barkley), WR (Puka Nacua), tight end (Trey McBride), flex (Alvin Kamara) and kicker (Tyler Bass). The Packers only get the edge at RB2 with a banged-up Kenneth Walker III (still carrying the questionable tag going into Thursday), WR2 (Deebo Samuel) and the Chiefs defense at Cleveland. Take WTNE by 10.
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